Archive Page 2

13
Jun
09

A Guide to Hitchhiking: 4) The Ride after a Long Wait is the Best Ride of All, despite the Rottweillers

There were many times on this trip when I accepted a ride that didn’t drop me off in town and I walked a while to avoid boredom. When I look back on the trip and think about how much of New Zealand I saw, I think of the walks between rides. It sounds odd in the abstract – the walks between the rides was where I saw New Zealand.

When I look back it makes sense. I was walking where nobody ever walks – along a remote stretch of highway a long way from the nearest town. I was seeing New Zealand that wasn’t cleaned up for people. I was on my own, so I had nothing else to focus on except the country around me. I was silent; no talking, no iPod. In that solitude I would have felt more a part of the countryside than if I was with others.

One time a geothermal power plant worker gave me a ride on his way in to work. Obvious in hindsight it might be, but in the morning everyone drives towards the power plant and they don’t leave until late afternoon. I spent an hour walking through the forest near the power plant waiting for a ride out. I still remember the green of the trees and the wet feel of the air.

Another time I was walking out of Blenheim and as the city faded into countryside I passed a kiwifruit farm and loaded up on a big bag of fruit for a dollar. I walked down the road eating kiwifruit with my thumb sticking out and big red station wagon stopped and gave me a ride. It was a surfer with a board in the back. He was a friendly chap and he took me down Highway. About halfway to Kaikoura he pulled over and parked right by a remote and unpopulated beach. It was a gorgeous place. If I had been smart I would have stopped too and gone for a swim and spent the day reading, but I was in a hurry to get to Dunedin to visit my cousin before I ran out of vacation time. So I walked down the road.

This day was warm where just a few days earlier I had been freezing on the road to Napier. The road curved along the coastline with the railway line running beside it. That part of the South Island has large mountains coming down to the sea with only a narrow flat strip at the bottom where Highway 1 and the train line run.

The first hour of walking was a joy. I felt the fresh salty air and thought of the surfer dude having a blast out on his own. I looked up at the mountains. A couple of cars came past at high speed without stopping.

The second hour was like the first, but hotter and sweatier. As it was getting close to noon the sun was getting stronger and I was getting grumpier. A couple more cars came by, but no stopping. I started focussing on the road surface – the stones, the hot tarmac, the culverts that allowed the streams that ran off the mountains to flow into to the sea.

Looking back, I think I had hit two separate problems. First, the road gets a rush of cars with each ferry from the North Island that dumps its load. It was a few hours until the next ferry so I was getting local traffic only. Second, it is hard to get the motivation to stop when you’re doing 100kmh, you are halfway between towns, in the flow of driving and just dying to get to your destination. Nobody stopped.

In the third hour I was hungry and ate more fruit. I had eaten so many of the acidic kiwifruit that my belly was feeling an ache. It was the lowest point of the day, maybe of the whole trip. Then a car pulled over to give me a ride, an old brown Cortina driven by a guy in his late 20s who beckoned me inside. I hopped in and put my pack in the back seat next to the two drooling Rottweillers sitting back there.

“It’s ok,” said the driver. “They won’t bite.”

I sat back down and faced the front. I could hear the dogs panting in the heat and feel their hot breath on my ear. We took off down Highway 1. I put my foot on a glass bottle so I moved it around to get a better position. More bottles. I looked down to see the passenger footwell was awash with big brown Speights beer bottles. I pushed through to the floor. Under the bottles was so rusted that I could see the roadway speeding past inches below. I let the bottles fall back.

I spent one of the happiest rides of my life trying to keep my feet on the side of the footwell, where there was less rust. The rest of the car matched the floor – the window did not wind down, the seat was all torn exposing the yellow foam and the engine was having a hard time coping with the load of two adults and two large dogs. I was noticing my driver’s interesting kiwi accent when I realised he was slurring. He was drunk, maybe residual effects from a huge binge the night before. Part of my mind was saying, “Get out,” but it was overruled by the bit that said, “Ah yeah, I don’t have to walk” and I sat with a smile on my face watching the twenty kilometers speed by.

He dropped me off in the middle of Kaikoura. As he put the car into gear to leave, the engine stalled and I had to give him a push start. It was the least I could do.

10
Jun
09

A Guide to Hitchhiking: 3) The Meaning of “Duckhead”

a) People will give you shit for talking in a funny accent

I was picked up by two Maori girls. I know this sounds like the start of a hitchhiking porn story but no, I just wanted a ride to Dannevirke and I wasn’t thinking about anything else. [Dannevirke could be pronounced a number of ways, but us ignorant Aussies say “Danny–verk”.] I hopped in the car and said hello and they cried, “Ahh, you’re an Aussie! Get out!” Then they laughed at their own joke and drove off with me still in the car. The entire thirty minute trip down the road to Dannevirke was spent taunting me for my accent and my rugby team. At times like these, as they say in Australia, cop it sweet.

b) It pays to talk to kids

At Dannevirke I was standing by a 7/11 at the edge of a town. There was little traffic that day and I was waiting for a while. At one point a station wagon loaded with people drove by. The car had a built-in PA system and the driver grabbed the handset and called through the speakers, “Sorry, I have a full load. Good luck.”

Some time later a car pulled into the 7/11. A little kid stayed in the car while his Mum went to the shop  to get some snacks. The kid stared at me and wound down the window.

“What are you doing?” The kid asked.

“I’m hitchhiking.” I said. “I’m going to Palmerstone North.”

“We live there. We’ll give you a ride.” As he said this his Mum walked out of the store and gave him a cross look for talking to a stranger. “I told the man we’re giving him a ride to Palmerstone,” the kid said.

Uh oh. I could see that Mum was conflicted: she didn’t want to make him break his promise but she knew she shouldn’t carry hitchhikers.

“Ah no, there are plenty of rides this morning. You should go on without me.” I said, meaning the opposite.

She looked at me for a few seconds and said, “OK. we’ll give you a ride.”

c) Other people talk in funny accents

Late on in the trip I stayed the night in the youth hostel in Dunedin. It was a grand place with a large kitchen and a lot of guests. I met some girl over breakfast who was volunteer help and she invited me to stay the next night at her place so I didn’t have to pay the $12 to stay another night at the hostel. I thought it it was a little odd to volunteer your time but then deprive the hostel of income but hey, it saved me some money.

That evening I was being driven around Dunedin in an old VW bus with the girl and her flatmates. They were telling me about the University of Otago and how it was a great place to study with its own culture. Listening to them I noticed that they had some interesting terms. They kept saying “you’re such a duck” and “you duckhead”. I had been driven across town before I figured out that they were saying “you dickhead” in a strong Kiwi accent.

d) If someone has no accent, they have your accent

As you might expect, there were lots of foreigners staying at the hostels. I played the game where you try to identify everyone’s accent before they tell you where they are from. One evening I found myself in the company of two German guys travelling together. I identified them as German and they corrected me: “We’re from Baden-Württemberg.” I guess their state pride is greater than their national pride. There was also a German girl staying there too. At one point she went out to go to the bathroom and one of the Germans guys said, “How can you talk to her? She’s such a Bavarian.”

There was one guy I spoke to who had no discernable accent. I couldn’t tell where he was from. As he was talking and I was trying to figure out his accent I found myself liking him for no good reason. He seemed like a good bloke, I felt he’d be a good guy to go out with for a beer. His accent had me stumped until he said he was from Sydney, my home town. How obvious, I thought, and I felt a bit vulnerable that when I was overseas, all it took was an Aussie accent to have me want to grab a beer with someone. I’m thinking this is the cause of much partying amongst Australians overseas.

Some background: These lessons were learned the hard way over a period of a couple of weeks hitchhiking in New Zealand. It was 1988 and I was 21. My Father was living in Hamilton on the North Island so I started there, making my way to visit my cousin Kevin in Dunedin on the South Island. Even though I was a New Zealander by passport I had left the country at fifteen months of age and was an Aussie kid with an Aussie accent living in Sydney. This was the only trip I hitched, in case you hadn’t already figured out I don’t know what I’m talking about.

08
Jun
09

A Guide to Hitchhiking: 2) A Hunter will not drop you off at a good spot for getting another ride

Lake Taupo was beautiful but I wanted to go further. It was late in the day but I thought I could make the next city. I hitched a ride on Highway 5. I didn’t have to wait long. An old guy in a pickup truck gave me a ride.

“Where are you going?”

“Napier.”

“I can get you half way there.”

“Cool.” And I hopped in.

The bench seat was old and worn and he had put a blanket over it for comfort. There were a lot of provisions in the back of the truck. The old guy was one of those people who pick up hitchhikers for company, so we had a good talk on the way down Highway 5.

He was a hunter and his truck was packed with the equipment for the trip. He was off hunting for a couple of weeks. This was something he did regularly. Now this is where my memory dims – I believe he was hunting small game, maybe rabbits, and that he was getting paid by the government to do so. However, twenty-one years is a fair amount of time and I am shady on the details because what I remember about this trip was not the hunter but where he dropped me off.

Hunters don’t hunt in towns. They hunt where the animals are. So I was dropped off by a large rabbit-loaded forest in the middle of nowhere. Still, I was on Highway 5 on the road between two major NZ towns, how bad could it be?

Here is the Wikipedia entry for Highway 5. It is a 2-lane highway. Between Taupo and Napier there are no major junctions. The road goes over a volcanic plateau. There’s a lot of grassland and scrub. There are no people.

It was later in the day now and the light was failing. I began to feel the cold. I walked down the road towards Napier, more to keep warm than to make any progress. There were no cars going in either direction. I accepted that I was going to spend the night here so I thought it through. I had snacks, water and my sleeping bag, and it didn’t look like it was going to rain. I checked out the side of the road where there was a sandy area with sparse grass that would be comfortable enough for sleep. There was a forest on one side and open scrubland with hills in the distance on the other. There were no cars, no houses and no people. It was the most alone I had ever felt. The nearest human was the hunter some kilometers into the forest.

Even though I had been walking down the road for a couple of slow hours and was facing a miserable night sleeping out in the open in the cold plateau air, I was thinking how beautiful the place was. I felt the isolation of my position but also a confidence that I’d handle it fine.

It was getting too dark to see much and I had no flashlight. As I was picking final spot to make a camp I heard the sound of an engine coming from Taupo. Its headlights lit me up and I stuck my thumb out and smiled. The chances of any specific car stopping were small, but we were in the middle of nowhere and there is no normal behaviour out here. This guy stopped.

“You’d better get in. I’ll be the only car coming down here tonight. You’re going to die out there.” the driver said.

I put the pack in the back seat and sat in the front. He was a sales rep heading home to Napier after a day’s business in Taupo. He was amazed that I was dropped off at such a remote place.

The basic rule to learn is when accepting a ride, check that the place where you’re going to get dropped off is somewhere you can get out of. I had to get bitten in the arse one more time before I learned it.

These lessons were learned the hard way over a period of a couple of weeks hitchhiking in New Zealand. It was 1988 and I was 21. My Father was living in Hamilton on the North Island so I started there, making my way to visit my cousin Kevin in Dunedin on the South Island. Even though I was a New Zealander by passport I had left the country at fifteen months of age and was an Aussie kid with an Aussie accent living in Sydney. In no way is this a definitive guide to hitchhiking. This was the only trip I hitched.

05
Jun
09

A Guide to Hitchhiking: 1) Don’t walk past the speed limit sign at the edge of town

I started off from Hamilton, New Zealand. I walked out of Dad’s place wearing my loaded backpack and headed for the road to Cambridge where I had some family I could surprise. It was rush hour and people were grumpy at the stop-start traffic. I felt silly marching through the city with a backpack on and I could see some of the drivers watching me with curiosity as they crept past. Sometimes the traffic would slow right down and I could overtake the stopped cars. As cars overtook me and I overtook them back I felt we were becoming more familiar. There was a set of twenty cars that were going about the same pace as me. Having watched me for a while I figured one of these cars would pick me up, but nobody stopped. Then the traffic started flowing again and my friends were gone.

No biggie, I thought, I’ll just keep walking and my positive actions will be rewarded by the universe. So I walked out of town. You can tell you have walked out of town because there’s a sign at the edge increasing the speed limit to 100kmh. I felt good, I had hit a milestone, I had left Hamilton. I’d rather have left in a car but at least I had left. I was on my way.

As I walked further out of town I stuck my thumb out and realized that the drivers were going by at a higher speed. Ignoring me was so much easier at 100kmh. One blink and I was a blur in their rear view mirror.

An hour and a half later I was wondering how long it would take me to walk all the way to Cambridge. Would I get there by nightfall? At least I had brought my sleeping bag. A minivan stopped and asked where I was going.

“Cambridge,” I say.

“That’s where I am going. Hop in.” And so I became a hitchhiker. I had risked my life, stuck my thumb out and hitched a ride from a complete stranger. It was a young mother and her two little children.

“How come you picked me up?” I asked.

“You were making an effort to walk there on your own.” She said.

This comment reinforced my ‘walk out of town’ habit and messed me up for days. Here’s the lesson: Don’t walk out of town. It took me a lot of miles to figure out the best option is to stop at the speed limit sign at the edge of town, put down your pack and stick out your thumb.

These lessons were learned the hard way over a period of a couple of weeks hitchhiking in New Zealand. It was 1988 and I was 21. My Father was living in Hamilton on the North Island so I started there, making my way to visit my cousin Kevin in Dunedin on the South Island. Even though I was a New Zealander by passport I had left the country at fifteen months of age and was an Aussie kid with an Aussie accent living in Sydney. In no way is this a definitive guide to hitchhiking. This was the only trip I hitched.

29
May
09

Catching the Bus for a Visit to the Marmots

Often I get a little too much pleasure from everyday occurrences here and I wonder why. Doing something that to a local will feel normal can make me feel great. It is similar to that feeling of “how quaint” which always feels patronising. But this feeling isn’t quaintness. It is more inward-focussed than that. It is evidence of that our life here is so different to the one we left. The same basic things are going on, but the spirit of the people involved has changed everything.

This morning’s events form a good example. We were dropping off the elder two kids for a school day trip. They were going to a park where they would hand-feed marmots and other animals, then they’d picnic for lunch and spend the afternoon at the circus. The coach shows up at the local school. The bus is already two thirds full with kids and staff from the other two schools in the district. As the doors open we get an instant reunion. The staff get off and hang out with the staff and parents from our village. The bus is buzzing with activity. The local kids put their backpacks in the luggage area and get on the bus. This is a big deal for our two because it is the first time they are doing a school event together. The staff and parents kiss and shake hands. They smoke and gossip. They talk about the local kids. They play with our baby, who is public property. They talk about the inappropriate shoes one of the staff are wearing. Everyone is teasing everyone else. The staff hang out some more. They are enjoying the rendezvous so much that they don’t want it to break up. They offer the driver a coffee. They light up again to get the last few drags in. The kids are all seated on the bus and the last staff member is puffing as fast as she can to get as much nicotine in before she’s trapped on the bus for an hour. She’s also chewing gum. To a chorus of farewells she gets on the bus and they drive off, twenty minutes late.

We walk home and can’t help but laugh at the whole group social scene of the local primary school. Everyone is trying to look after everyone else while having a great time. It is so different to the place we were and the school we went to that the shock of the change shakes us every day.

27
May
09

ISAF, Twitter and Me

I was reading Daniel Bennett’s blog on war coverage and the media when I saw his post on the ISAF Using Twitter. For those who do not know, the ISAF is NATO’s International Security Assistance Force.  I’m interested in the Afghan war so I signed up to follow ISAFmedia. Now I see the tweets of drug busts and deaths on both sides.

For example:

Three ISAF service members were killed & one injured after an Improvised Explosive Device (IED) attack in eastern Afghanistan this morning.

Today they followed me back. They won’t see a lot since I don’t update Twitter much. I opened the account to save ‘brentcu’ in their namespace and now I use it to read a few things.

Having them follow me shocked my thinking about the two-way nature of following on Twitter. It makes sense for the media arm of ISAF to know who is following them; usually it will be media types or war bloggers. If these folk are writing about the war and putting links or updates on Twitter themselves then the ISAF will be interested in seeing how their message gets redistributed. In my case I’m just an interested person who isn’t writing about much except France and a little fiction.

IED

But hey ISAF folk, you have an American supporter here in rural France.

24
May
09

five Music Videos my kids like. At the moment.

We have a supply of JJJ Hot 100 videos from the last few years and the kids like watching them. We buy it each year and it gives us a survey of music videos that we likely haven’t seen. Overall the kids like most of the songs but a few stand out as favourites:

1. Beck – Nausea

In a display of amazing taste Lucy loves this song. She doesn’t know that nausea means ‘wanting to puke’ else she’d like it even more. I wouldn’t think it was a kid song but she’s walking around the house singing “nausea, nausea” so it must have something that connects.

2. Basement Jaxx – Take Me Back to Your House

This is a little more understandable since the song is lively and happy and there’s a ton of amazing dancing in the video. Otto and Lucy have been practicing their Cossack dancing but there’s a long way to go before they can perform the steps.

3. Muse – Knights of Cydonia

An epic of a video. When the kids first saw this they watched it six times in a row before I could move on to the next video. A hit all the way through with sci-fi cowboy martial-artifice. They like the posing best of all.

4. The Cops – Call Me Anytime

Another surprising pick. I think they just like the bouncy music. Otto likes the swords. Once they play it a lot it gets in your heard and you wander around the kitchen cooking a local .

5. Dresden Dolls – Coin Operated Boy

The kids love this one and it is obvious why – this is a song for 6 year olds. I’m not a fan and Jean hates it with a vengeance. We cringe each time Lucy wanders around singing it.

14
May
09

More Front de Gauche and the 2009 Euro Elections

It is Euro Election time and the Front de Gauche made their way to Montrejeau market this week. I’m still stunned that a French Communist party exists and has seats in government. My French is good enough to get a rough idea what ‘redistribution des richesses’ means.

I’m a little too self-conscious to just walk up and take a photo of them so I got Jean to take a photo of them with me in the foreground. That’s me on on the right of the photo in a Money Mark t-shirt being a wuss.

The most interesting thing to note was that they were offering free wine to those who came up and spoke to them. I am sure that is part of their party platform – Redistribution des Bourgognes.

There’s a serious issue here – rural poverty. We’re unemployed and living cheap but that’s by choice. Farms here are a few hectares and will never produce much revenue. FdG are tapping into this.

07
May
09

France is Different: Communism and the Front de Gauche

I am a visitor here so I try to notice things without passing judgement. This poster showed up in the village the other week:

It is for France’s political party “Front de Gauche” or “Left Front”. It has obvious Communist symbols with the red rectangle background and the star in the corner (compare with other communist flags).

Seeing this poster made me wonder who are these folk were. I asked the Mayor about them and he described them as a small party of the far left of politics. It turns out the Front de Gauche is a political alliance of far Left political parties, including the Communists. In the 2007 French legislative elections, 1.1 million people voted for the Communists.

Within a week the poster had been covered up with some flyer for a musical event at a local town hall. I was disappointed that I hadn’t got a photo before it went, but then three days later it had reappeared. Someone tore down the music event poster and put a new FdG poster in its place. There are some persistent Gauchists nearby.

19
Apr
09

A Quick Update on living in southwest France

We landed a couple of months ago. On the journey from Toulouse airport the countryside steadily grew less grim until we approached our destination village where the mountains were out, snow was on the ground and everything looked beautiful. Either that or we were so exhausted we stopped being critical – as Eddie Murphy once said about hunger changing perceptions, "It was the best cracker I ever ate."

The worst part of the trip: walking from one Air France terminal in Paris to another with three little kids who have not slept and whose body clock tells them it is 3am. Then having to go through security again. There was a lot of screaming, but our tolerance is better than that of the security folk. Eventually I stopped screaming.

We ended up in the "country". I didn’t realize how country this was going to be. This is a huge unexpected pleasure. The commune as a whole (the village and surrounding community) has about 350 people. There are cows and sheep outside our bedroom window. There are lots of chickens. Every drive is `dogs vs cars’ as the local mutts try to eat our wheels. We live in a converted barn. Tractors are everywhere. This is cow country. My 100% city gal wife is learning a few new things…

…like how it is to live without central heating. We arrived to snow and I had to remember how to make a fire from bits of wood. Wood is useful. As are firelighters. Many folk around here spend an inordinate amount of time gathering fallen trees, chopping them up and building great walls of seasoning timber. If you look around you will see that every house has a great wall of wood, except for ours. I had warned Jean that winter can be cold but she didn’t understand what cold meant. She wore a sweater to bed until she adjusted. The sun came out after we had been here a couple of days and the kids were running around naked outside. It was February. Our kids have anti-freeze for blood.

The school culture for little kids is hilarious. I love the morning and afternoon chat at the gate. I like writing teacher correspondence in French in the little cahier. Lucy (known here as "Lucy Jean") goes to a school that’s about 100m outside her bedroom window. Otto started school for the first time and he catches a little bus to the school down the road. All the staff are professional and care about the children like they are family. It has been a very friendly experience. After four weeks of school my son has almost stopped fighting to not get on the bus each school morning.

There are a lot of Dutch folk in the Haute-Garonne, which is fine by me. There’s a town up the road that consists of new houses for the Dutch community. They built a concrete track to the nearby market town of Samatan so they can exercise on it. It is weird, it runs along the main road and as you drive by you can see the Dutch running along it. My Dutch landlady told me all about it. There are few Americans, although we’ve heard that there’s one a few villages away. There goes the neighbourhood.

The driving is fantastic. I’m driving a Kangoo, which is French for `bouncing box’, and I still love the roads. Every drive is a joy. To put this in a little perspective, my friends claim that I was born to be driven since I scam so many rides from them. Now we fight over who gets to drive, the loser getting to mess with the TomTom GPS. I am fond of the dance that goes on when meeting a car coming the other way. Jean does most of the driving.

We tried a New Zealand voice on the TomTom (Kiwi Katrina) and I can’t deal with it. So I put Aussie Ken on and he’s great, especially when he puts on his big stage voice to say, "You have reached your destination!" Thank you, Ken! I hope the voice actor reads this one day and realizes that the effort he put in to get that phrase so dramatic was worth it.

Everything is way cheaper than we expected. Some of this is to be explained by moving to the country where food is cheaper and fashion is followed at a slower pace. The local abattoir has a shop (is this common practice at abattoirs in France?) and the meats are very good. Duck is cheap. Chicken is expensive. Good wine is two euros, but Champagne still costs. Eggs are great and seemingly all from le Gers. Neighbours give us a fair few eggs, but with five of us eating a cooked breakfast each morning we go through them fast. If/when we buy a place we’ll get some of our own. It will give Minty something to chase. And when you buy a chicken in the store it still has its head on it. You can play finger puppets with it.

As a project manager by trade I am fascinated by the bureaucracy. I’m trying out a system where I assume the employee is just trying to make life easy by not doing work and by avoiding trouble. If this is the case, the logical thing to do is to make it so that helping me is the easy path. This means that I have to be ready to make a fuss when things do not go right. For myself, I have set expectations that everything will take three visits to achieve, but so far nothing has. I’ve been learning how to complain and where to complain but I haven’t had to resort to anything like that yet.

My bank is learning that I will show up and cause stress when things don’t happen. Having awful French is an asset here. I am happy to let queues build up behind me if they aren’t helping me. There is some pleasure in watching the
teller squirm. I am also happy to return the next day for followup. I only need to do this for a bit and they’ll not forget to process my account. So far it is working. My calls are getting through and I am getting quick responses. My problems have been solved fast. I can see the look of fear when they see me in line, hoping that the other teller gets me.

Getting the residence permit has been interesting, too. The local mairie knows nothing – why should they, they are a couple of local part timers who just got elected. Europeans no longer need permits so this is something new for them. Rather than leaving this project in their hands I’ve been visiting the sous-prefecture in Saint Gaudens, the mairie in Saint Gaudens (who gave me all sorts of useful info until they found out I didn’t live there) and then I went to the
prefecture in Toulouse. With a giant line of fellow immigrants behind me I had them check my documentation and when my address was found out I made sure they gave me formal documentation on what is required and what steps the local mairie has to take, got the number for the mairie to call in case of issues and even got a prefecture stamp on the handwritten instructions so the mairie pays attention. Of course all this is going to fail the first two times and I may have to create a fuss, but I’m giving it a go.

And learning French is a blast! It is going so fast. I don’t feel shame in using `my hovercraft is full of eels’ French in front of anyone. Anyone who sees me regularly seems happy to correct my mistakes. One advantage I have is that I love rugby and this is Stade Toulousain country so there is a built in conversation topic.

Our fantastic friends have a collection of microcars/bubble cars and often take our kids for a ride around the neighbourhood. They’ve also lent us a couple of old town bikes so I’ve been going for joy rides around the village with a woohooing kid on the luggage rack.  They are simple pleasures, but having some good weather, good countryside and plenty of free time is making a fun childhood for them. The issues that will send them to a therapist will start later.